I pretended so hard to be a proper wife

From my book, Severe Silence (http://amzn.to/2u0ZDbx)

I pretended so hard to be a proper wife,

but a passionate, free-spirited woman inside

kept screaming to be expressed.

Finally the moment came

when my body could no longer contain both women.

It began with a series of mysterious ailments

over the course of several months

and culminated in a severe attack of shingles

right in the middle of my back,

the only place I couldn't reach to scratch.

I stood in the doorway

rubbing my itching back against the doorframe,

crying in pain and frustration,

understanding exactly where these escalating illness were leading.

This inner conflict could actually kill me.

I could no longer keep putting off the inevitable.

I had to leave.

Not brave enough to confront him directly, I planned my escape,

when I would leave, where I would go.

I waited for a day he wouldn't be home,

packed some clothes, washed the dishes,

took out the garbage, tidied up,

and snuck out, like a fugitive.